November 5, 2016 (3 years, 1 week, 2 days later)
Safe in His grace. That’s a theme I picked up on last night. I do struggle with fear and protection and so the idea of safety appeals to me and seems unrealistic at the same time. And then there’s grace. I struggle with accepting it so much and try to walk in my own perfection and obedience. But that’s a theme in my life. I am safe in this grace. I have been sealed by the Holy Spirit and I can’t lose my salvation. I’m safe..in His…Grace. My life is full of evidence of this. When I found Amelia there were a lot of reasons to walk away from God or to take my own life even, but I’m still here today running this race of faith because of His grace alone. Even when I sat huddled in the lobby on the phone with the police it was dark and scary but I knew the Holy Spirit was sitting right next to me. The Father wasn’t giving me a giant comforting hug, but the Spirit never left me. I was safe in His grace. This summer when I walked in a lot of sin lusting and not trusting God with my sisters, I was safe in His grace. I messed up, made a lot of poor decisions, sinned and yet His grace covered me. He didn’t let me go there (walk away in LA). Jesus came and lived the perfect life. He did not lust, always trusted the Father with everyone and I get to rest in my Brother’s perfection, His righteousness. When I came home and was wrestling with letting go of my hopes, loneliness and depression, I was safe in His grace. He didn’t laugh at me and say “I told you so” and “that’s what you get for the summer.” The Holy Spirit came in as a lover and comforted me and held my hand through it all. He hasn’t abandoned me yet. I am safe…only by His grace. Even though I still have scars of PTSD and am affected by the stupidest things like Halloween decorations and I’m annoyed with myself, He is not annoyed and like a good Father He sends people like Silas and Kristen to pray for me, remove decorations etc. He protects and provides for me. I have been safe in His grace. I don’t deserve it. I’ve messed up and been obnoxious, and that’s grace. Favor I don’t deserve and I’m safe in it. It won’t end. I don’t need to fear Him abandoning me because He is faithful and His character is sure and He promised that I would be safe in His grace.
“It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deut. 31:8
“Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God…So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace…But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace,…so that being justified by His grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life….And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” 1 Peter 5:10, Romans 5:2, Titus 3:7, Galatians 1:15, Romans 11:5
I’m safe in His grace.